Thank You For Smoking

I would just like to take a few minutes and thank everyone who smokes tobacco. People just don’t understand how much hard work is put into the sale and marketing of these deadly products. It must be a tough sell. I’ve heard of selling ice to an Eskimo, but this is ridiculous. We all should thank the executives, founders, employees and retailers that are responsible for ensuring that these precious cigarettes reach our lips, and the lips of our youth. In a world that is becoming more and more anti-tobacco, we as smokers must unite. I for one am sick of being banished to the dark alleys and cold stairwells to enjoy the pleasure that can only be received from a cigarette.

So when did we lose our right to make informed choices? It’s no secret that tobacco is harmful. We all know tobacco causes cancer, can lead to impotence, and has been linked with millions of deaths around the world. Does that really give lawmakers the right to prevent us from smoking? I don’t think so. I thought this was supposed to be a free country. All smokers must stand up and fight this injustice. The government has way too much control of our lives already, its time we put a stop to it.

No one is getting hurt by this situation more than the tobacco companies. It must be hard to operate under these conditions. On a daily basis these companies are faced with the challenge of selling a product with almost no advertising. In some countries they cannot legally be sold to their primary target (youth.) They also face the problem of constant lawsuits. If anyone has ever needed a lawyer, you know they aren’t cheap. Let’s not forget the constant barrage of anti-tobacco propaganda, and the over-saturated market of smoking cessation products. This includes everything from gum and inhalers, to patches and laser treatments. Some people have even gone as far as taking drugs and getting hypnotized. The tobacco companies need to be recognized and rewarded for their success thus far. We should also give special thanks to the people who brought us “candy cigarettes” and “big league chew.” With a lot of the older smokers dying from diseases brought on by years of smoking, something was needed to get the younger generations interested. Well Done.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying everyone should start smoking, or that we should sell cigarettes to kids. I’m just saying we should give people a choice. Let business owners decide if they want to permit smoking in their own establishment. If non-smoking is what the people want, non-smoking places will prosper. Let the places that permit smoking slowly burn down. I’m sick of smoking bans and all the restrictions on when and where I can smoke. This is getting out of control. How long till cigarette smoking is completely gone? I can just see the day when I have to score a smoke from some sketchy guy downtown by the Mac’s.

Thank you everyone for standing up and fighting for your right to make a choice. It may be the wrong choice, and harmful to my health, but I still enjoy it. Hell, lots of fun stuff is harmful to your health. It seems like everyone is going crazy these days. Since when did a little self indulgence cause such an outrage? Everyone just needs to lighten up. Better yet, Light up. Smokers of the World Unite!!

Photo by Gustavo Medde.

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You’re currently reading “Thank You For Smoking.”

Published:: Mar 30 2007 / 6:58 AM

Author:: Ross Werry

Category:: Business

Tags:: advertising, health, marketing, satire, smoking, tobacco

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Todd Mar 30 2007 / 10:11 AM

Business owners have a responsibility to ensure a safe workplace for their workers. So I'll agree to your opinion that business owners should be able to choose whether or not to allow smoking in their establishment with one caveat. For every cigarette smoked inside, the owner has to contribute x number of dollars into a fund for pay for the future health care costs of the worker. By doing that, there will be no additional costs to society for that worker. As well the owner should have to contribute to a 'pain and suffering' fund for the worker as well so they'll have some sort of comfort. Sure, you'll be paying $25 a drink, but you'll be able to puff away and everyone wins... sorta.

David Paul Robinson Mar 30 2007 / 12:16 PM

Hi:

I am really enjoying your blog.

I have added a link to you from my own blog at www.davidpaulrobinson.com.

If you would care to link back that would be great!

cheers!
Paul

Stefan Too Real Writer Mar 30 2007 / 12:52 PM

The average smoker, who smokes a pack a day pays almost 2600 dollars a year in tobacco taxes. The Canadian government pays a little over 2500 dollars per person in health care per year. So as smokers, not only do we pay our own health care, we pay a little bit more to compensate for anybody else who may become ill from second-hand smoke. Also, a waitress is a waitress is a waitress. Nobody puts a gun to their heads and says "work only at this establishment or else..." They can choose to work elsewhere, where as a smoking patron has no choice.
The fact of the matter is that with all the shit out there that poses a health risk to people, why do we target smokers? Why not target car idlers, the emissions from cars is more toxic. Hell, I am an adult who has never had chicken pox, so being around small children can be a health hazard, so let's ban children from all public places, and tax parents for every snot-nosed brat that they pop out. I got mugged outside a mall in broad daylight, I was held-up with a screwdriver, so let's tell people that they can't carry screwdrivers. And what about the sun? Lot's of people are allergic to the sun, we should pull a Mr. Burns and block it out. The smell of bad BO makes me nauseous so let's force everybody to wear deodorant and perfume (oh wait, that is banned in a lot of places too). And really fat people in really tight clothing, that makes me sick too. Let's force all fat people to wear only loose clothing.
You see my point? This cause and effect reasoning that seems to guide our policy makers is both non-sensical and draconian. Ross is right, this is supposed to be a free country, and part of living in a free country is dealing with your discomfort, and accepting it.

Dave Mar 30 2007 / 2:58 PM

You're spot on. I still can't get over the fact that whole communities have allowed government to dictate to business owners what completely legal things can and cannot be done in their own establishment. Just as theirs people who *choose* to remove asbestos from pipes, there can be people who *choose* to work in smoking establishments. Besides, most every person I've ever known who worked in food service smoked like a chimneys.

I don't smoke anymore, but I think it's bullshit.

Great post.

Stefan Too Real Writer Mar 30 2007 / 5:20 PM

And another thing: Those goddamned claims cards that they give you on the airplanes on international flights mention an exemption on up to 200 cigs (a carton), yet on another page they tell you that there is no exemption on tobacco. I got dinged 20.00 bucks for my honesty when I claimed a carton on smokes that I bought in Mexico.

Duty free? Duty free, my ass.

Ross Article Author Mar 30 2007 / 10:19 PM

That will teach you to be honest Stefan. And seriously, nobody is forcing people to work in establishments that permit smoking. Just as we have a right to choose where to go, people can choose where to work. If smoke bothers you or you are worried about the health risks, go work somewhere else.

Todd Mar 31 2007 / 1:04 AM

The funny thing is though that when smoke-free establishments weren't the rule, there were very few of them. I couldn't go practically anywhere without getting a face full of smoke -- I'm sure you know that.

After the smoking ban took affect here in Saskatoon, business is supposedly up in most bars and restaurants. Maybe now if the law came off the books, a lot of establishments would stay smoke free. But they sure as hell didn't do it beforehand -- everyone was afraid to be the first to try. So nonsmokers either had to choose to not go out or to go out and breathe the bad air. I believe in free choice but only where there is a frigging choice.

Saskboy Mar 31 2007 / 12:27 PM

Good points Todd.

==
"The government has way too much control of our lives already, its time we put a stop to it."... and put control back into the hands of faceless corporations where it belongs :-)

Stefan Too Real Writer Mar 31 2007 / 2:49 PM

Posted by Todd
"So nonsmokers either had to choose to not go out or to go out and breathe the bad air."

So now it is smokers who have to choose to either not go out, or (in the winter) freeze their asses off.

If you want bad air, check out Wascana lake in spring, now that's toxic.

Stephen Glauser Too Real Writer Mar 31 2007 / 9:12 PM

Stefan, I don't think smokers are being given a choice of going out or not, rather just being shifted. Keep in mind that non-smokers make up 75-80% of the population so it only makes sense that they be given some sense of protection.

That being said I believe that even though the free market did not adapt to the non-smokers wishes this law is BS and the decision should have been left to the establishment owners. This comes from someone who prefers a non-smoking pub, club or restaurant.

Too much government involvement is never a good thing.

Tim Ebl Apr 2 2007 / 10:26 PM

As an ex smoker (quit for 5 years) I can appreciate the freeze-your-ass-off feelings of the smokers. But now that I don't smoke, I just don't want to be around it. The next day after going into a nightclub for a couple hours, I am all stuffed up and can't breath properly. My clothes smell like shit. Since there are now more of us non-smokers, shouldn't we be allowed to go out and enjoy an evening too? I guess if individual businesses could choose to have it or not, then I would choose to never go to the smoking establishments and that would be fine. It might be fun at the time, but I don't even need to drink and I feel like I have a hangover the next day from smoke.

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Thank You For Smoking

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